---

woooooooooossssssshhhhhhhhhh!

phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht

ssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffff

rrrrrrrrhhhhhghghhhghghhghgh

pifffffffffffffffshhhhhhaaaa

behhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

awoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

---

One day without a Mercury Coffee..... Need I say more?

FIRING BAKALAK

Yo if Zielinski's on tha mic then i gotta ATTACK
i say the way a shot should be is OVERPACKED
dense puck, fine ass grinds to be EXACT
groomed clean, tamped firm, busta never RELAX
here's the TRUTH of your SCOOP styles NINCOMPOOP
my steez rocks three piece SUITS yours is gross HIRSUTE
never call me to a battle cause I'll take the LOOT

GUYS.
THIS MORNING I WAS PRIVY TO A RARE PHENOMENON. AS PER USUAL, I PRANCED INTO WORK IN MY PECULIAR WAY, BUT SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT. THE AURA OF MERCURY ESPRESSO BAR HAD CHANGED.
I REACHED FOR MY CARBON-ALLOY, THRICE FORTIFIED, TITANIUM CORE SYNESSO PORTA-FILTER, DOSED MYSELF A SHOT, AND LOADED IT INTO THE ESPRESSO INITIATION VESSEL.

WHAT I WOULD SEE NEXT WOULD CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER.

THAT'S RIGHT. I WITNESSED THE RECURSION OF A SHOT OF ESPRESSO WITHIN ITSELF. NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THIS!
I EXPECTED TO SAUNTER INTO WORK AND DO EVERYTHING ACCORDING TO MY REGIMENTED ROUTINE, BUT THIS RARE SPECTACLE HAS ENABLED ME TO SEE THINGS IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT. THIS ENRICHING EXPERIENCE HAS AWAKENED THE ESPRESSO BEAST WITHIN ME AND I NOW FEEL CONFIDENT AS A CONTENDER IN THE ESPRESSO BATTLE.

DAMIEN.

THIS IS A RESPONSE TO YOUR CHALLENGE.
I ACCEPT!

G'day! G'day!

This weeks feature coffee on press up here on Main Street: Tanzania Peaberry-Northern Burka Estate, as roasted by Dark City Coffee Company. The general consensus? A well balanced cup with notes of apples and chocolate.

Wondering what Peaberries are?
Peaberry, also known as caracoli, is a type of coffee bean. Normally the fruit of the coffee plant develops as two halves of a bean within a single cherry, but sometimes only one of the two seeds gets fertilized so there is nothing to flatten it. This oval (or pea-shaped) bean is known as Peaberry. Typically around 5% of all coffee beans harvested are of this form.

Peaberry beans roast differently from the corresponding flat berry beans, hence to ensure an even roast, in high grade coffee, peaberry beans are separated.

Peaberry beans are widely reputed to roast better than flat berries, being said to roast more evenly, because of their rounder shape minimizes sharp edges, and rolls about the roasting chamber more easily. However, some sources claim that the effect is minor, and that the major benefit of peaberry beans is that they have been carefully selected, which is essential for optimal quality, regardless of bean shape.

The only case that can be made for a real “Peaberry difference” that affects the cup is the way a peaberry tends to behave in the roast chamber. In a fluid bed roaster it will “roll” easier and rotate better in the hot air stream. In a drum or air roaster, it will transfer heat a little better from the exterior to interior of the bean due to the fact that peaberries usually have higher bean density. But these factors have a minor influence on the final cup results.

Thank you Wikipedia.

Well, Dizzy Bone just killed the game again holla atcha boy whaaat?

You see, I, Damien Zielinski, "the Fat Villain," just discovered a brand new grooming technique to pull the most honey-creamingest ejacula* that coffee could ever be. It's a synthesis of the Tran-Spoon-Chop and the Scott Rao Dogbone Dig, and it's been murdering the morning army like 300.

I call it the Golden Comet Circle Flex, and it involves using the round DOSING CHAMBER lid that nobody ever uses for anything, usually. Then, when the 'bed' of coffee grounds in the filter looks like it was lovestruck by a divinely proportioned asteroid sphere**, I let the scimitar-bevelled U.S. STANDARD tamp slide sexually into the filter and Bammo, lock and load, and get this- DON'T PRE-INFUSE***. Then I pull a shot better than Katie, Ben, Matt, Doug, Neil, Robin, Alex, or any of those other dudes could EVER do, put together, on steroids****. Then YOU drink it and it goes straight to your pants. Fifty thousand points, right???? A million.






*noun
**Michael Crichton
***natural wetness factor effect
****Not in a million years, if it was 1999, if their lives depended on it, if their plane was going down, if there was no tomorrow, if their collective baby was trapped in a locked Subaru.

Ben's last shift is today, bye Ben, no Ben, NO!

Dear Mercurialites,
BEN IS LEAVING...Aussie Ben, to be more specifical. His motherland harkens his return. I know you will all miss him so come and visit him before he leaves. I believe he will depart for his mystical pilgramage upon his noble, magenta, wing'ed stead next Wednesday, but if I am incorrect about the date I will holler back in your general vicinity.
So gather all ye Mercurisians, from and wide and bid this fine gent his proper adieu! Main street may be close to the bitter border of harsh Scarberia, but try to brave the arctic climate. In the southern region of Queen St. it may be warm, sunny, tropical and picturesque, but cart yer butts in and say bye, if you can. Oh yeas and order thoust a macchiato.
---------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------
--------------------------
----------------
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Well, I don't know how Main Street can compete with Queen's previous post. Those guys are so zany and majestic. Hey! Did you know some of us LIVE TOGETHER? How about that? Did you know that Neil has never taken off that tiara? He sleeps with it on! And from my bedroom I can hear Matt's eye a-twinkling. It drives me nuts. Twinkling all night.

Hey! Our featured latte is the confusingly-named "Panama - Baru Indian High Estate". It's a bit dark but hey, I like it. And our featured press (at the more civilized Main Street location) is "La Amistad" from Costa Rica.



I have never seen this movie.

O yah!

Cum on doen to mecury expresso bar! we have coiffees from other worlds! lol.\

we have stuff from south oif mexicoah, also, please try one of our lates!1

-matty davey

p.s. try an shot of expresso too///

nile here to take offer form matty. yah yah yah o!!! we loves it here more than anyweres. better then manich (where is that even allemagne?) bester then darck hoarse. better then rockit full. more better than even super poplar starbank!!!! we heart cofeee over here in the east land! ok. by by!

heart heart heart, nile ranking.

ok, free turrnip juices for every 10th commrade!!

Now I know that hardly any of us could contain ourselves when we heard of those dearn resolutions that the afore mentioned "sisters" deemed to create an art/blog piece with.
We shall see what the beach populace aims to do or not to do. Brace yourselves folks, this should be the ride of your lives.

WARNING:If you are sipping a hot beverage please put it down and swallow whatever coffee remnants thar be in your mouthhole. You may be so enthralled by the anonymous secrets confessed that your lap be scalded or you spray the liquid in you mouth upon the monitor. Don't say I didn't warn you. Read with caution.
LET


US

BEGIN:
-To set healthy boundaries in my life and gain internal strength!(insert happy face here)
-Have more manicures(pedicures too!)
-Use more exclamation points!!!!!!!
-GO GREEN
-Quit smoking
Eat healthier
-GO PURPLE!!!!!
-Finish implementing getting things done x get organized
-LOVE ALL, SERVE ALL,
-Tell the Aussie he's gorgeous! and sweet and oh-so-pretty
-Dear Mercury,
I resolve to dump 50lbs by getting up to Main Sq.'s treadmill everyday for four months -done it before- can do it again.
-To have realistic resolutions
-Quit smoking
Do volenteers hours
Be more optomistic
-Too dissregard correkt speelling and gramar altogetter
-
-TO WITNESS MY EMOTIONS - So I can respond and not react(smiley face, heart, peace sign)
-To waste lots of paper writing resolutions
-I resolve...First and foremost to have FAITH...to go with the flow in FAITH and
to organize my
1.home-office
2.finances
3.Goals for 2009
And then.....to have more FAITH.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
-Stop taking things(and people) for granted
-Become "in"dependant!
-To shift down from Type A to Type A-
And that is the heart-stopping, jaw-dropping, mesmerizing peak into the minds of the masses.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
up at merc on main where as usual it is pretty slow, We sisters, jamy and tina, are discussing new years resolutions. besides the typical 'stay away from trans fats' and 'be nice to your neighbour' we want to know what all of you are going to do for your resolutions. So we have created a new years resolution box where you can write down your resolution and let us know- anonymously, what you plan to do... or stop doing in the new year. Its just for fun, and we are going to make some sort of art/ maybe blog about the answers you give us!!!
so come in drink some caffeine and share your plans for two thousand and nine

Hey y'all,
Just wanna tell y'all bout this here new coffee we gots in. The Zirikana, Rwanda is a deliciously robust bean with hints of vanilla, toast and sweet fruity amazeration. If Hunter S. Thompson were still alive he'd be sippin' on this sizzerp with a dash of some fine whiskey. I don't think it's from that hotel that Don Cheadle worked at, but what do I know.
I definitely suggest that y'all cart yer arses to Merc and give this mother a try.
Also, we have a fun stamp and now all of our cups proudly display our logo(that's Greek for logo).
A.L.<><

T'is the season for puppehs in winter clothing. If there is one thing I love more than sipping on a warm, rich, delicious latte at my beloved workplace, its seeing a baby dog wearing a custom made knitted toque!

This guy asked me today for an espresso over ice. I was like, "Isn't there enough ice out there for you? Who needs to be more cold?"

Seriously. I remember how cold it was last year... this time round, we've got the curtain, we've got the heaters, we've got the fans. We're ready. It wasn't even cold this morning when I came in. I was surprised. I took off my four sweaters and it was still temperate. I think we'll make it through the winter.

Speaking of which, our hours (hour ours) will be changing a little for the winter months-- as of the 14th, we'll be closing at 8pm instead of 9pm, 7 days/week. Since no-one seems to come in at that time (hence the change) I doubt it'll matter. Am I right?



Also take note of our HOLIDAY HOURS:

DEC 16 -- CLOSE @ 7 (cause we got to get with the holiday spirit + bust out the party, you know?)!

DEC 24TH -- CLOSE @ 5!

DEC 25TH -- CHRISTMAS DAY, WE ARE OPENING ALL OUR PRESENTS AND THUS NOT "PRESENT" AT THE STORE ((IE CLOSED!!))

DEC 26TH -- OPEN 9 TO 5!

DEC 31ST -- WE CLOSE @ 5, NEW YEARS YOU KNOW?

JAN 1ST -- NEW YEARS DAY, CLOSED... YOU'LL WANNA GET YOUR FIX BY THE POUND BEFORE HAND

All other days at usual. That means by the way, we are only closed on the 25th and the 1st. We are open 363 days per year.

I have to say I'm quite excited about the mercury xmas knees up. I could be wrong but I imagine the night going a little something like this... everyone arrives feeling slightly uncomfortable with the queen crew on one side and the main posse on the other, perhaps someone throws out a diss which brews into a electric boogaloo type altercation...



Just as Alex T starts to top rock the Mill St beard guy would bust in and wearing a Hawaiian shirt, insisting everyone 'lighten up', spraying the broads with keg beer and high five'n the bros...

but i could be wrong.

Even though I have never fought anyone (other than my brothers) in my entire life, occasionally I get a real kick out of imagining myself beating up some jerk really bad. I don't know why, maybe I am a sicko and you shouldn't talk to me. Or maybe you feel like that sometimes too. Anyways when I came into Mercury one day and heard that some skanky bum stole all the money out of the tip jar when someone wasn't looking, my mind began racing, imaginging all sorts of kick ass fight moves that I would put on that bum if I ever got the chance...

There is concern in some mercury circles that the below economic hysterical xenophobic witchhunting trend will continue.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24557872-2902,00.html

help end the madness by coming and enjoying a post 2pm coffee at the main store to put certain staff at ease.

PRETTY GOOD TIMES

Things are pretty great at Mercury, we got a new Kenyan coffee that we are hooked on
We've been grappling with how to describe such a delicious coffee, it's really amazing stuff

I'd say it's smoky and sweet, with a gentle acidity and a tobacco finish, Damien would tell you about the rich stewed tomato finish and a citrusy sparkle

But really we can't do it justice, you'll just have to read between the lines to see how much we love it

To illustrate the *ahem* uniqueness of the respective stores, I will list a quick and easy-to-read guide:

"a rush" QUEEN ST- A mass of customers that swell at peak times causing a delay in service, usually around the mornings.

MAIN ST- Anything more than three people.

"offensive music"
MAIN ST- Anything with swearing or anything derogatory

QUEEN ST- We haven't found anything yet.

"I'm going to get food"
MAIN ST- Going next door to James' apartment and looking real sad.

QUEEN ST- I'm going to Reliable.

"I'd like a regular coffee please"
MAIN ST- "Would you like a press or an americano?"

QUEEN ST- "NO"

"weirdos"
QUEEN ST- This one time I was offered a blowjob for 20 bucks

MAIN ST- This one time someone asked me how I was doing.

"overstaffed"
QUEEN ST- 4 people behind the counter and no room to fart

MAIN ST- 1 person at 5 pm on a weekday

"being edgy"
QUEEN ST- Calling a customer an asshole out loud and having them laugh at it

MAIN ST- Eye contact

Thanks for reading.

The Month Of The Moustache.

As some of you may have already noticed WE ARE GROWING MOUSTACHES. That's right, Mercury employees have banded together to strengthen the appearance of our upper lip. For what great cause do we fuzz up our faces I hear you ask?
Well there's this little thing called MOVEMBER which is happening right now. What it is is, you see, you grow a moustache and raise money/awareness for prostate cancer.
So come and support us as we agree to looking silly for the next twenty odd days. Or just come in and see for yourself all the peach fuzzy goodness that's sprouting atop these mouths of ours.

And buy some damn coffee while you're at it! Just be wary of the 'stache when you go to sip that cappuccino.

OMG IT'S GOLDIE HAWN!!!! SHE'S LIKE THE CUTEST THING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr.

SHE'S LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST SHOT OF ESPRESSO IN THE MORNING AND THEN IT'S ALL CUTE AND STUFF AND TASTES GREAT AND THEN KURT RUSSEL COMES ALONG AND IS ALL LIKE GOLDIE!!! GOLDIE!!! BRING ME A BEER. AND YOU'RE LIKE, WHY GOLDIE? WHY?!!!?! BUT THEN YOU WATCH LAUGH IN AGAIN AND EVERYTHING IS ALL BETTER AND THEN YOU HAVE ANOTHER SHOT OF ESPRESSO AND IT'S NOT REALLY THE SAME AS BEFORE BUT AT LEAST YOU HAVE LAUGH IN, YOU KNOW? AT LEAST YOU HAVE LAUGH IN.

Hi

We've started bringing in coffee from a great roaster called Novo Coffee. We just brought in some Single Origin Espresso: Ethiopia Sidamo, Gololcha. I've never really tasted an espresso like it before. It's a very earthy, almost herbal, and little or no sweetness. But it does have great balance is quite full bodied.

Coming Soon from Novo to a Mercury closest to you:
Elita Capitan - Piedras Candela, Panama
The tasting notes say "deep, buttery, raisin"
I guess we'll soon see. More details to come.
For now, come on in for a taste of the Sidamo.
http://www.novocoffee.com

If the Sidamo's not what you fancy, the there's always the old faithful Espresso from Origins. These guys are roasting some great coffees right now. I think most of us have enjoyed the Ethiopian Coffees that we've been getting. There have been loads of really fruity flavours... especially blueberries. Right now at Queen Street we have the Papua New Guinea, Waka Jawaka. It'll be coming up as a Feature Latte there as well. Good 'ol Origins. Up on Main Street. We've got a great Colombian coffee. Colombia La Valencia Mercedes Supremo.
http://www.originscoffee.com/

And this Black Cat has been knocking my socks off consistently for weeks now. As a shot or a cappuccino, these guys have got this blend nailed down! A really tart black cherry attack on the first sip and after that , it's all chocolate. Awesome!
http://www.blackcatcoffee.com/

And as always , we've got a couple of great blends from Dark City Coffee Roasters. We've got our Mad Hatter Blend. Great balance of nuttiness and sweetness. Great to consume in any method. Pull it as a shot or try it as a french press. It's all good. The Decaf Espresso is a good one if you can't handle the jitters of the Gololcha. It's one of the only decafs I've had that actually posses any coffee taste.
http://www.darkcitycoffee.com/

You too, can serve these great coffees as well as a few others to your loved ones at home. All you have to do is get down to the Mercury of your choice.
Choice One: 915 Queen Street East, between Logan Ave. and Carlaw Ave.
Choice Two:126 Main Street, at Main and Gerrard. What's the major intersection you ask? well... Main and Gerrard. Take the 506 Carlton streetcar East from College or Carlton or Gerrard or wherever you are, and take it until Main Street. Walk south on the west side for about ninety-two seconds and your there. Both'll have whole beans for sale from all roasters. Prices range from Eight Dollars and up for Two Hundred Twenty Seven Grams. And all beans are as ethically grown and purchased as you can get. Most of the farms are dealt with directly. This means the Roasters are meeting the Farmers. What a great idea.
See ya.

1.Ask Neily-poo,
I was with him when he found this awesome (i think it was polish)prog-rock vinyl, a while back.
2.I know it's hella cold this morn.
3.mmmmmm......Novo, Gololcha is delissioso!
-Alex L.

^Earliest prog band^

IT'S SO EARLY.
IT'S SO COLD.
RECOMMEND SOME GOOD PROG ROCK TO ME.
I HAVE, AND WILL BE LISTENING TO "HEART OF THE SUNRISE"
BY
YES
ALL
MORNING.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FREEZING IT IS?!

So I'm here on my day off and I want to write a blog about the new and improved black cat direct trade classic espresso, but Amber Fox beat me to it. She's already posted a link to the blog dedicated to it, but I don't see why I can't just keep you updated. For instance, did you know that we have now fully transitioned into using it? And did you know that Intelligentsia has posted a video on coffee from the Fazenda Conquista plantation in Minas Gerais (which they plan on introducing into their black cat blend later on this year)? HUH DID YOU KNOW THAT? Uhhh, here's the video:



MORE:
Intelligentsia, in an effort to render themselves more transparent (not like ghost-transparent, or overhead projector transparency), are starting this new platform of selling coffee in which they are labeling the blends that are in season (big duh, right?). Their mission statement for in season beans essentially reminds us that coffee is like any fruit or vegetable in that it too has on and off seasons. In order to fully enjoy a cup of coffee to it's fullest, you should be able to taste the vibrancy and tastiness that the beans were so painstakingly selected for in the first place. This is why there are no more than 10 months between harvest and sale for these in season beans. Right now at mercury the coffees we have for sale in half-pound bags that bear this new mark are the Kurimi Ethiopian Yergacheffe and the Los Inmortales of El Salvador.

ANYWAYS, I highly recommend you come down and try a shot of the new(er) black cat. It's really good. I don't know how to end a blog.

HERE IS A LINK DUMP:
http://blackcatcoffee.com/blog/
http://directtradecoffee.com/
http://www.intelligentsiacoffee.com/
http://inseasoncoffee.com/

-mattttttttt

GUYS ALEX TRAN IS COMPETING RIGHT NOW!

GIVE HIM GOOD VIBRATIONS!

GO TRAN MAN!

I've only been at MercOnMain for an hour and a half, but I'm definitely sensing this is a different world. It's east. So very east. I think once you pass Greenwood or thereabouts you go through a portal and it becomes the world where everyone's exactly the same BUT THE RUSSIANS WON THE COLD WAR AND WE'RE ALL TALKING RUSSIAN AND WE DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT IT IF IT'S WHAT YOU DO ALL DAY EVERY DAY??
Whereas at Queen we make french press coffee for a small elect of connoisseurs (that is: anyone who wants one), at Main there is ALWAYS french press to be had. It's utopian, and really it's the end of a historical materialist imperative, a rational maneuver to bring coffee to the people. Is good, no, comrade?So come and join us, comrade, in our worker's paradise. Why wouldn't you? You're not counterrevolutionary, are you? You wouldn't want to upset the ComIntern Committee on Coffee-based Beverages With Or Without Milk, da?

Why is cheese so durn tasty??

Why can't I stop eating it??

I feel lethargic and oh so in need of a nap. See what you have done to me cheese???

I recommend checking out the Leslieville Cheese Market if you want to feel my delicious pain. While you're at it, why not get yourself a big ol' gulp of a latte over here at yon spro bar de la Mercury? Ain't nothin' like relaxin' on the PAT-I-O as the summer weather wanes, a cheese sandwich in one hand and a latte in t'other, is there?

To whom do I pose these questions? Is it you dear reader? Why don't you tell me?

Good night & God Bless.

HERE WE ARE AGAIN, NO?

ANOTHER LANKSGIVIN', WASTED.
FOOD HANGOVER (MAYBE BEER HANGOVER???)

I'M SEEING DOUBLE HERE!!!

I WILL ALSO FIGHT YOU.

AND ONCE I WIN I WILL DRINK A WINE BOTTLE FULL OF COFFEE AND TRANSCEND TRADITIONAL SPECIES BOUNDARIES AND BECOME "PRIDE BEAR."

'Tis Sunday, my turkey-fun-day!
Happy thanksgivies to all yous mercurians...
It's a pity some of us have to be at worky, all 9-5'in on the holiday like Dolly "the chest" Parton.But I'm gonna give ya some straight talk, and not sugar coat it baby, also quotin' the Dolly-Mama. If I were you, and I mean you personally, i would indulge in a pipin' hot cup los immortales with my punpkin pie. It's especially delish lately!
--Alex L--
p.s. Who else friggin' loves Jakey-poo's new gesture?
I know I said friggin',but really the "I don't know" gesture is melting my daern heart like a Cat Stevens song.

man, coffee is the coolest! i'm a barissss-tah!

yo, cool cats of Mercury, of the frigid land to the North... or at least, Canadian weather is what i'm regularly teased about in my new home of NYC!
thats right... this is the long-lost Amber Fox, the lone barista at Merc who never, ever blogged when i was on the payroll, but am now making a brief appearance to reassure any fears that i'd disappeared completely.... and to bring you this news about the espresso at the gorgeous Mercury:
read here for more:
http://blackcatcoffee.com/blog/?p=27

exciting!!!

in other news, i'm working on a New York Times piece about how much i miss the good humour of Canadians, all your regular customers and your love of espresso... and the wayward 'u' s in Canadian english...

much love
amberista

It's 10:13 and I'm on the set of SEINFELD in JERRY'S KITCHEN!!!!

It's 6:24 in the morning, do you know where your watermelon is?

If you haven't yet seen the artistic talent that has been displayed in the front window at Mercury on Main st, quite frankly I feel sorry for you. Young Matt drew a spectacular killer snowman destroying a city early this month, and then after someone washed the window for no good reason, I replaced it with a delightful array of mystical creatures and magical scenery. If you haven't met me, my name is Tina and I started working at Merc about 3 weeks ago. ANYWAYS,
I got thinking on this dreary Tuesday afternoon as I was looking at the window, that not only am I an exceptional artist, but seeing as halloween is creeping up, I could also kick Matt Davey's ass in a pumpkin carving competition. So Matt listen up, I challenge you to a jack o lantern comp. If you accept we can make further arrangements regarding a time and place, as well as who should judge. I will be awaiting your reply.
Sincerely,
Tina

i'm MAINly excited to tell y'alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll bout dis here cofffeeee!!
i just indulged myself in a delectable press ^.^

ETHIOPIAN SIDAMO!!!! TRABOCCA NATURAL!
in short:




so let's do some mathematics...

trabocca + KAYdence =

Hey guess what. Now this is happening:

I especially like the one that says "METAL" in the bottom right hand corner. OH YEAH, I guess I should inform you what I meant by saying "now this is happening."

WE HAVE A CASSETTE DECK!!!!!

TAPES ARE ALIVE. FORGET ALL YOU NAYSAYERS. The technology is far from dead! We're going to be playing a lot more tapes from now on SO GET USED TO IT, OR ELSE! K BUDDY? GOOD. COME GET COFFEE NOW, TOO, OR ELSE I WILL PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOME AND THEN TAKE YOUR LITTLE DOG FOR A WALK, NEVER TO RETURN. YOU'LL MISS IT. I PROMISE. YOU'LL BE FEELING ALL KINDS OF MELANCHOLY. IT'LL JUST BE TERRIBLE!!!!!!


-MATT
OH YEAH, ONLY AT MERCURY ON QUEEN STREET, BY THE WAY.

A nice pair.

A Berg pair.

The hot pair.

The pair.

Gee golly. So many durnned jokes to make with pairs. So little blogging time. I went the cop out route of just googleing these images but what the hey, it's cloudy out and I don't feel 100%.

What is, however, 100% good is the pairing of Ethiopia Washed Yirgacheffe and one of our all-spice brownies. To get the full (100%) effect the coffee must be taken (100%) pure and untainted. That way, hopefully, you'll be able to taste the sweet fruity (dates? strawberries?) notes, and it's clean balanced finish. Take a bite of the all-spice brownie right after and you've got a party in your mouth, much like the one we'll have for Bergie when she gets back.

Clothing optional of course.

a

Greetings from the future.
Right now its 12 30 Toronto time... But its 6 30 in the future! the Berlin future that is. Good time for a coffee i bet. I myself have had a coffee...a whole pot. Well really two pots...but whos counting? Sorry to disapoint, but the future isnt all its cracked up to be. No sexy robots to do your dishes (just sexy bergs). No space age silver suits...unless you count the outfit i had on last night...
Well count it down cause Miss Alice Berg has to be making her way back to the Big Smoke pretty soon. Hitting of Leipzig and frankfurt and then...you got it...Mercury!!

what!?!

man, I was going to post a photo to sum up my trip...but it wont let me. figures. well you just have to imagine what it looks like yourself.
and yes Tran...i am wearing clothes!
over and out Merc-ers

Everyone knows about the cat poop coffee, right? It's really expensive, and it's made from the coffee beans that a bunch of cats in some village eat and then poop out so when you drink it, it's all been digested and stuff.





We don't carry that. That sounds gross.




BUT we DO have, this week, super-special-like, some of 49th Parallel's India Devon Estate, which is actually picked and eaten by Rhesus monkeys. See, they love the little cherries (see fig. 1)

figure one: nom nom nom nom nom

that the beans are actually the seeds of, and so they pick them, at the height of their ripeness, eat the fruit, and spit out the beans. It's nature's quality control. Like how they say on TV, "picked at the perfect point of ripeness"? Except that the guys on TV are obviously lying. If they wanted to get perfectly ripe fruit, they'd have to hire monkeys. (see figure 2)

figure two: duck, you sucker.

Anyways it's a beautiful coffee, with a nutty aroma and a sweet chocolate-y, hazelnut-y finish. Try it in a press!

And while we're at it, we really should mention that we've got the #2 coffee in the whole wide world right now, Nicaragua's Limoncillo. We've already sold out on half-pound bags (which were $35 for the half-pound, if that kind of stuff impresses you) (see fig. 3)

figure three: blangin'

but you can still get a tasty taste in a press in store! It's a remarkably full-bodied coffee that still retains delicate notes of jasmine and citrus, with a creamy finish. It's like a tasty truffle, but not one that pigs hunt for. But wouldn't that make an awesome end to this blog post? All come full circle, from animals making poo coffee to coffee that would taste great to animals that smell like poo? How much can I talk about excrement and still keep my job?

And now....here's my long overdue answer to my previous post's question:

It...

Was...

The...

Amount...

Of...

PRECIPITATION!!!!! (So far this summer, and that was back in August or something).

Congratulations to all who participated, you will all receive a complimentary "Participants' Ribbon"!

Thanks for playing. Drink coffee. Often.

Forever yours,
Neil "Stankin" Rankin.