So the toilet-flusher-handle broke today (someone wanted to flush REAL HARD I guess), and resultantly I was sent out on an odyssey I'll not soon forget. I biked west to regal hardware, only to discover they had closed about fifteen minutes before. Reluctantly I turned around to head to the Home Depot, when a PIGEON flew into my face. I saw it, as if it were in slow motion: here, the bird, swooping low over the street, now fluttering wildly to wend-- just barely-- over a passing van, stalling in its ascent and dive-bombing at my cringing, unprotected face. I felt its oily wings whipping at my nose and forehead, and then, as soon as it had begun, it was over.
Some uncouth individuals have suggested that I ought to have licked it.
I find this idea abhorrent.
Anyway I got the handle at the Home Depot so now you can use the facilities as needed.