Friday, February 29, 2008

Let's talk about Friday. Freak out Friday. Chewin' it up and spittin' it out. Sometimes on the weekend I am crazy, sometimes I get crazy. I'm king of the club!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Heya Honeycat!
Fun Tuesday facts:
In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license
The human brain is 80% water.
A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
Mercury Has the BEST coffee in town.
And that's a fact!

Heads up for all you crazy cats that plan ahead (you know who you are)--
Wow, what an age. The terrible 2 for most, but in this case not dreadful at all. I'll keep you up to date on any fun (more than the usual) that will be going on in the coming month.
-To start it off we've got photography going up by the World Famous, Nicest Guy Alive, Might just take your picture, Graham "awesome dude" Powell. The show will display the Life and Times of Mercury Organic Espresso Bar.
-It's also staff art month! So check out how talented and creative your baristas are.
-Who knows what crazy shenanigans we'll get up to next?!?
Who's cuter? WEll I just can't decide. Maybe We'll get a goat for the big weekend and take a poll. Well the goat's pretty sweet... But who makes a better coffee? If you said the goat- you'd be wrong. Nobody makes coffee like an Alex Tran Party. Or is it an S- Club party? I forget. But the point is this- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise. And that's a FACT!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

This is the "Shout ouT i love Music and aM Going to Take Up a Whole Page Just Talking aBout Tunes - Eat it" Blog.

Berg: Well I'm going to say Brutal Knights. Just name dropping and talking up a band that I'm sure Alex likes more. Now I've never seen Brutal Knights, but I've had many discussions with Crane Boy (the guitarist), and I think it's safe to say that they're awesome. Picture this- You're at a show drunk and pumped, rippin' it up and freaking out. I don't know what I like more, having the beer thrown at me or on me baby! I'm off the bottle for the any beer in my direction is much appreciated. If I were a rock star I know how i'd start every show... I'd emerge from a pool of beer with a Bengal tiger and a large jar of M&Ms (but only the brown ones). Hey, they say beer is great for your hair. Anyway, see for yourself. Make up your mind. Or don't. Whatever. I don't F#%$*&! care. . What about you?
Neil: I'm pretty into Roxy Music right now. I'm pretty down with it. Love Is The Drug is a great song. Later in their career it's a little hit and miss, a little shaky, with ultra glossy production values and all... but I'm pretty into them.
Matthew: What band am I really into right now? I'm thinking Daniel Johnston. Daniel Johnston and this guy called Jandek. Oh man, it's really hard to come by. Oh I'm really digging it. It's like introverted love songs. Daniel Johnston- and he's a really homely looking guy.
What?! Did someone just say Robert Palmer?! No Neil, there is no way you're going to convince me on Robert Palmer.
Neil: But there is this one song. It's pretty cool. Looking For Clues. It's got some great lines in it. That song might change your mind...and your life.
Matthew: No Neil. Sorry. No Palmer! But I've also been listening to a lot of Steve Earle. I'm getting really pumped for the show. The new album is one of the best albums going right now.
Alice: I'm really into the whole Flight of the Conchords stuff. So good. So funny! conchords
There's a little gem to get you hooked. Can I also give a shout out to Mississippi Gary from kids in the hall. That's music related... I don't feel I need to defend myself to you... so what they're both TV shows... there's music... there's singing!... Wow don't get all crazy Neil. Put the gun down Neil!! You know you're the first Man I ever loved!
Neil: Really? I am?!?
Alice: Naw. You're not a man now, and you weren't a man then.
[Neil then shoots Alice and she dies a tragic yet beautiful death].
Matthew: Now that that's out of the way...
Neil: I'm also into something real sexy. Something so hot it will burn you hard. What am I listening to you ask? Oh darn, look at the time. Must be off! Got To GO!
[Damien swoops in like a ninja. No one saw him come on OR put on an apron. But He decided to let his presence be know with one burst]
Damien: ROBERT PALMER?!? No Neil, No.
Neil: But...
Damien: No. So what am i into eh. UUUmmm... I kinda like... the only new thing I've been listing to is Stevie Wonder. Stevie's a genius. Just show me someone who don't like Stevie and I'll show you a guy who don't got no soul. You do not have a soul- you are not human. This music [Arms Aloft- Joe Strummer] sounds like it should be the theme from titanic.
Alice: No wait, Braveheart on the titanic. Maybe a little Frodo getting it on with the last unicorn in the back.
Damien: Nail on the Head. Can we listen to the Animals after this?
Alice: Yes. Yes we can.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Now I know what you're thinking....

Actually, no you don't. Because if you guessed freak accidents involving our ceiling fans you were way the hell off.

Our morning crew started off the above blog but I'm now assuming command of this battlestar. I'm declaring marshal law. No more effin' around 'cos the big boys are playing now.

I'd like to first introduce to your XO:

Rwanda Zirkana. Flavor: Tropical fruit, pomegranate, brown sugar Acidity: Lemony, juicy Finish: Clean, sweet, satisfying

Next in command:

Organic Peru Cruz del Sur. Flavor: Green grapes, pear, cane sugar Acidity: balanced, gentle Finish: Light molasses, milk chocolate

Chief scientist:

Colombia Santander. The Dark City single origin offering from the Tres Santos lot. It's mild, with a hint of bourbon, and finishes off with milk chocolate.

-End transmission-

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Well, to be honest I really couldn't care less about Duke's Overpriced Cycle (as a business- of course my heart goes out to the Duke family), but I am absolutely devastated by the loss of Toronto's greatest video store. Truly the Mercury Espresso Bar of video stores, Suspect Video can never be replaced.

Why, you ask? Because, despite the alternate Mirvish Village location, and the probability of a new Queen location once the insurance is settled, it will never be the same. You see, Suspect was more than a place to get amazing obscure foreign films, weird action figures, and far out sex mags. Yeah, I know I can get films by Jean Luc Godard and Imamura Shohei at places like Queen Video and Bay Street. Who cares? Suspect on Queen was one of Toronto's very few Real Places. Now, you, dear reader, don't need to ask me what a Real Place is, because you (better) have already experienced the realness of Mercury.

I'll miss the rotting bricks, the weird smell, the subterranean feel, and the sticky notes all over staff pick flicks. I'll miss the guy saying 'what's your password?' and me saying 'lemon'. There isn't anything, anything, anything, anything, anything, that I won't miss about it.

From one end of Queen Street to the other, I genuflect for thee, Suspect. May you rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of your material demise.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Well 30 Helens agree: Love hurts, You can never spend too much money on a good pair of shoes, tattoos aren't for everyone, and the Mercury Blog is a thing of greatness.
What does a double americano, a Bearded Ben, and the Beastie Boys have in common?
answer: Mercury. That's right not only do we have great coffee...a great guy like Ben (or should I say FRANK!)...but we also have killer tunes. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Sub topic: Family Day
don't know about you guys, but my family day was off the hook! Hardcore drinking, wet T-shirt contests, Jello fights, the list goes on. Naw, I'm just messin' wit ya. Dooder you get your head out of that pig! It was tame. Real tame. Way tame.
Ben got a new lip balm and watched youtube videos of cats meowing words. Need i say more.
Hope you all had a wondrous time avec family or sans family. It was a day indeed, you'll have to agree with me on that one.
Promo: Feature Latte.
You know the drill. We have a feature latte and you'd step over your own mother (even on family day? yes timmy even on family day) just to get one. So Let us do the right thing here, save your mother the trip, and walk at a steady pace down to mercury and get one. Simple and effective. This is us helping you helping us helping you to get your very own feature latte.
Add on: I'm starting a brown bag revolution. ALL of the beans we carry are excellent- even if they don't come in a red bag (It's so like you to go for flash over substance). So the next time you're in try a brown bag and feel good about it.
Like my old horse James used to say "impacted fecal matters."
and on that note I'm out of here.
-Alice "Dooder" Berg and Ben "what about impacted fecal matters?" Bruneau

Monday, February 18, 2008

Family Day

It's my family's tradition to always watch Family Guy, Family Matters, Family Man, All In the Family, Partridge Family, and at least a few minutes of the Family Channel on this most sacred of days. At four o'clock sharp we sit around in a circle and regale each other with anecdotal quips on life courtesy of the beloved Family Circus, then it's off to eat at Peter's Family Restaurant in sunny Tillsonburg (on the corner of Brock & Broadway) for some good eats and a friendly environment. After a fabulous chicken finger and hot dog meal (with a side of coleslaw) it's back home for some Family Feud and Family Ties before we hit the hay and dream of next year's Family Day.

How will you spend your Family Day?

If you said Mercury, then you are among the masses because it seemed that everyone decided we were their family today. Thanks extended Mercury family! This is a tradition I can latch onto, let's do it all again next year. Today was way better than our old family tradition of watching the boob tube.

Be among the many and join in on the Family Day festivities here at Mercury Espresso Bar.

From all your aunts, uncles, cousins, and estranged fathers here at the Merc, we say: Happy Family Day!!!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The weather for today- February 17th 2008- Is brought to you by the letter 'J'- "cause if it ain't 'J', I don't want it."

Temperature: 3-6°C
Condition: Rain/Light rain
Wind: SE 20-25km/h
Humidity 81%
Rain: 15mm

So there it is put on your rain suit, grab an umbrella, and come cozy up to an electric fireplace here at Mercury. It's Ben and I (plus a little Rankin and Damien for fun) taking you through the morning. Seeing as today is brought you you by the letter 'J' I feel a poem is in order.

Jovially Ben Jested
Just as Alice Joked
Justice is served best
As a cold Juniper Juice
Jived the Neil

Only a
Couple of
Jaunty blocks away
From where we are

Jump on into your
Jumpsuit space suit and blast off
Toward our planet

Juggle a couple of lattes as you walk out the door and the change
In your pocket Jingles.

-Neil Rankin

As for the coffee... we've got the Ethiopia Harrar as the Feature Latte and Ethiopia Yirgacheffe, Costa Rica, and New Guinea on press (5.00 + tax/ press).
If you're in the mood for some sweets we've got loads of ginger and chocolate chip cookies...
If you're not in the mood for coffee we've got some super Cider!
I really can't think of a reason you shouldn't be here.

Damien will now finish off the Blog with a joke.
over and out
Big Ben and Ranks, Berg and the big Z.

PS! Hey! Why was 2 afraid of 3! Cause 3 8 4!

Saturday, February 16, 2008


Just for all you Mercaholics who wake up early and check the blog first thing in the morning, this one goes out to you! Party people in the HOUSE!

This is a special morning update: This weekend, it's Ethiopia all the way. Check out our feature, from the Oromia co-op of the magnificent Harrar region of Ethiopia, an aromatic, magical, berry- and chocolate tinged treat for your palette; or on press, perennial favourite Yirgacheffe. But that's not all-- Intelligentsia delights Flecha Roja and New Guinea round out the pack.

It's a beautiful day in the neaighbourhood, and a beautiful day for a latte. Run, jog, ski, bike, skateboard, parkour, waterski, or take whatever alternate means of transportation you can, as that the cold has receded, at least for now.

Friday, February 15, 2008

So we've made it to Friday- fifth day of the week- "day (of the planet) Venus." And what's the deal with our Feature Bean Grinder? The thing can't stay clean to save it's life. You dose one shot into the group head and end up with two more sprayed across the counter. It breaks my heart to see two shots of coffee wasted for every one shot used! Especially when this week's feature is a beautiful, smokey, oily Bali single origin. I shouldn't blame the Mazzer, for, as the immortal words of Sun Tzu preach: "change must come from within." Get it before the goin' gets. John Lennon once sang of a world without religion, no possessions too. I think he was on to something with that one. Parents will never be able to force their children to floss and zealots will never be able to force the secular to pray. And Alice is so gullible she will believe her own lies (which I suppose on further consideration doesn't make them lies at all. After all we each construct our own reality)
Speaking of constructing one's own reality (and believe me, I don't want to go on a rant here) I'd like to take a moment to rail on a modern piece of technology that is redefining the way people socialize and interact with one another: Facebook. Somehow, it succeeds in being both highly intrusive while remaining impersonal. Facebook is an unhealthy mode of communication which can have disastrous social and psychological consequences. Facebook users become comfortable with their "perceived identities" and very uncomfortable with their "actual identities." It's a constructed society of microchips in which photo-shopped images and carefully constructed Oscar Wildeisms rule the day. People please! This isn't who you are, but rather what you want to be! Get off your computer, get into Mercury, air out your true colours and try a conversation on for size with one of our affable baristas or customers.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

This blog is brought to you by:

Journey - Don't Stop Believin

A classic, track by the band who has a song for pretty much every occasion. On days like today you just can't stop believing that the warm weather will be back at some point and we'll all be able to ride our bicycles again. Or at least walk somewhere without having to wait 20 minutes while your snot thaws out and you can finally breathe through your nose again. Naw'msayin'??? Sure you do.

The snow is falling horizontally for crissakes! I wouldn't recommend going out there if you don't need to but if you really need an incentive, great coffee is always a good one.

Barista's recommendation: The Bali's Paradise Valley roasted by Dark City makes an amazing cappuccino. It's buttery, sweet like peanut butter and coats the mouth in a similar way! It's low in acidity so that means if you're a soy drinker it compliments it very well.

Now let's take a moment to realize that soy just doesn't get much attention in general. Many non-soy drinkers find it has an innate nuttiness that is rather overwhelming. Fair enough. There's not much you can do about that but if you're into those flavors try it with the Bali. It's like a Reese Peanut Butter Cup, in a cup.

Thank you that's all for this guy. Don't forget to listen to the track, you'll need it on a day like today.


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sunday February Tenth
-11 Degrees Celsius
Feels like: -23
Light Flurries
Relative Humidity: 61%
Wind: W 46km/h
Sunrise: 7:24
Sunset: 17:41

That's the kind of day it is outside, which makes me wonder why anyone would want to be out there. Why not come on in to the warmest place in our solar system (next to the sun, of course) and warm up with a coffee? I recommend getting a press of the Cruz Del Sur Organic Peru for $5.50 (plus applicable taxes) while it lasts because we are getting low on supplies.

Green grapes! Pear! Cane Sugar! Mmmmm. Lime! Balanced! Gentle! (gentle seems odd with an exclamation point, strike it from the records). Light Molasses! Milk Chocolate! Yep, I just described the beans from the Tingo Maria and Chirinos regions with exclamation points for all y'all. What a coffee that Peru is, worth everyone of these: "!"

Damien sez:

You know what I recommend? Getting Damien Zielinski (of Mercury fame) to make you a double cappuccino to go. It's always been the drink he makes best, but suddenly has slungshot its way to new astronomical heights of righteous excellence and virtue. You know why? Because ever since Alex Tran showed him the Sacred Five-Point Shaolin dose-and-tamp technique, his shots are about %3000 percent better (and they were pretty good to begin with).

Meanwhile, The Zielinski-nator has been developing the world's first X-rated latte art design. Yeah, you read it right- you, dear customer, can have your own sexually-explicit latte or cappuccino. (Naturally, considering the delicacy of Young Minds, a valid driver's license or proof of age will be required if you're under 25. Also, Damien has to be working, because a True Magician never reveals his secrets, know what uhm saying?)

In summary, the phrase of the day is: SEXY WEATHER.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

smoky, chocolaty, rich and smooth... oh no I'm not talking about one of my many suiters, I'm talking about the FEATURE LATTE! It's 'big league' as a latte, and makes a pretty good shot 'straight up' if you're into that sort of thing.

It's a bit gloomy out there in the streets(-3 points)... but I assure you it's warm(1 point) and dry(2 points) in here. Plus we have the clash (10 points), Adrian (-1point...just kidding...3 points), and bags and bags and cup and cups of coffee (pointless...or priceless...but priceless in the point kinda know what I'm saying).
So there it is
Outside on the streets/anywhere that isn't here= -68points
Mercury= one million points

The math doesn't lie!
Come support the little guy!

PS. A point in every direction is the same as no point at all. Fact.

Friday, February 08, 2008


It is Friday after all. So, we can all do a little jig for joy as Saturday's face draws ever nearer to our own. Soon our cold, runny nose will brush against the warm, inviting nose of tomorrow and we'll know(s) that the weekend is indeed upon us.
Hey, I got a question for ya (picture me Neil Rankin, impersonating Damien Zielinski for this one) have you ever been broken up with? Yeah, not so bad. How 'bout over Facebook? Pretty bad. Well, I mean, I guess it's sort of personal, it is FACEbook after all. But, still, come on, that's just one step away from a text message.

On a lighter note. I'm sitting here chatting away to Mark.
He just came in for a coffee and some sweet loving'
he's now on his way home,
and I will be left wrinkled and alone.

We have got some killer* coffee in the house!
This is the scoop on some BRAND NEW BEANS!
Cruz del Sur Organic Peru- Green Grapes, pear, cane sugar, lime, balanced, milk chocolate.
From two growing regions of Peru, Chirinos and Tingo Maria, Intelligentsia's Cruz del Sur provides a refined and elegant cup. This coffee is defined by its peaceful and balanced acidity of lime and green grapes. The sweetness comes across gently as cane sugar, light molasses and fresh pear. The body is affable and soft as it finishes with hints of milk chocolate and honeysuckle. $9.50 1/2lb, 5.50 +tax/press
New Guinea- Lime, sweet spice, creamy, bright, rich, smooth.
With seedlings from the Jamaica Blue Mountain region, cultivation of coffee began in Papua New Guinea in the late 30's. It offers full syrupy body, balanced snappy acidity, and wonderful complexity. Some say it is reminiscent of what Jamaica Blue Mountain used to taste like.
$9.00 1/2lb, $5.00+ tax/press
We also have our regular selection of beans for you to take home..or to work..or to give away.. or whatever.. as long as you show them the love.. and don't break up with them over facebook (ouch!)

*Note that I am using killer in terms of being highly effective/superior, and not as a person or thing that kills. Also not to be confused with any device used by a post office for printing cancellations on postage stamps or the mark of cancellation on that postage stamp.

Well This is Berg and the Rank saying' Happy Friday, Happy Days, and Happy trails to you until we meet again.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

This is the Mercury Blog's
GET DOWN (and make love) EDITION

Valentine's Day in just around the bend...
How are you going to express yourself to the one you love?
well here's a little insider information
Don't go with the following:
a) Flowers- maybe that could fly with your mom... or with a noted that reads "you're a really great pal"... but be warned men do not like flowers. They are pretty and then they die. Not a great metaphor for a relationship.
b) Chocolates/ Candy- coupled with a gym membership might be a little offensive. But there is nothing about candy that says lasting (except for dead weight to carry around...ouch!)
A Puppy- sure, they're real cute and all but remember: THEY GROW UP TO BE BIG, SMELLY, SLOBBERING, POOPING, DOGS. Coupled with the possibility that your relationship may not even last the night, a puppy spells commitment with a capital C, and we all know how afraid you are to commit.
d) Nothing- You insensitive Jerk!

Well it looks like you are all out of options... BUT WAIT!!!
-1/2lbs of fresh coffee -Mercury gift certificates ($5 or $10)
-better yet, come on in and share a press!
It will give you the energy you need to last all night long (take that however you will). Other than a Honey Glazed Ham there is no better gift ('cause who doesn't want a honey glazed ham?!)

Lovin' you right back,
Damien, Alice, Neil, and all the other crazy kids at the Merc. Facebook me!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Today can be summed up in one word: HEAVY.

Heavy snow to be shoveled off the sidewalk, heavy metal on the jukebox (in the form of Black Mountain. Righteous.), and heavy coffee in your hand as you trudge through the heavy flakes in your heavy winter boots. Just be sure you don't ruin those boots, you'll need them someday.

If you do feel like taking those precious boots for a walk through the slush, then why don't you come on down for one of our feature lattes this weekend featuring Dark City's Paradise Valley Estate all the way from Bali. Gee golly. For only $4.75 you can't afford not to clomp through this messy weather.

Uh-oh A.B. Berg just walked in, talking up a storm to M.T. Taylor and N.R. Rankin ain't gonna stand for it. That's why he's sitting typing out this blog for all you wonderful people to read, sipping on a soy cappuccino. Soy why don't you head on down to catch a glimpse of these majestic animals in their natural habitat? It's better and cheaper than going to the zoo and a lot less stinky too.

Ooo Ooo Ahh Ahh, I'm outta here!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

It's Saturday night and I ain't got nobody... I got some money 'cause I just got paid... How i wish i had someone to talk to...

Welcome to the Mercury blog. Todays blog is brought to you by robots. Cause what's better than a whole lotta robots?
answer: Nothing! (But a great cup of coffee is a close second)

If you wanted a brewed coffee, or just to try something new...
Have I got a press for you!
(Lame Rhymes inspired by Neil Rankin)
- Los Inmortales El Salvador 5.5o+ tax
- Los Delirios Nicaragua 5.00+ tax
- El Cuervo Guatemala 5.00+ tax
When I've got 4 mins to wait, I go for a press 'cause they're GREAT! (The Rhymes are lame, but the coffee is excellent!)

So back to robots for a second. If they [robots] ever have an evil twin like Data from Star Trek you'd better watch your caboose. Evil robots are like totally so much more evil than evil people. Remember Bender's golden counterpart? Bender was evil already so his twin was like double evilly! Then we have everyone's favorite governor we have to shout out to. Terminator! Ok so Arnie is all eviling it up in the first one... and i know that in the second Arnie and the liquid metal cop aren't twins...but man does that movie rock. It has everything really- Blood, Guns, Hardcore action, and LIQUID ROBOTS! yeah!

Feature Latte alert! No need to freak out... We've got the Yemen Mocha Matari coming at you from all angles! Alice Berg was over heard saying "WOW! This has got to be my favourite feature ever! of all time! Tonight I'm going to go home and write BEST DAY EVER on my calender". So if you want to be as cool as the Berg, but you don't want to dye your hair, come in and get the feature. It's $4.75 of straight up coolness!

New Idea! Rock'Em Sock'Em Robot Reality Show. It's a combination of American Gladiators and Intervention, with a splash of Trading spaces and Handyman Superstar challenge. "What would that look like?" you ask... Well other than AWESOME...
First show I'm the Blue Bomber and Alex can be the Red Rocker. Go Blue Bomber! Knock His Block Off!

Well I guess that brings us to the end of the Robot Blog. Alex says "Go Play in the snow. It's fun"
The Berg sez " Never forget where you come from... ROBOTS!!"
P.S- I think Tran is going to be listening to The National all night long. So if you to want to get down wit your bad self to melancholy rock.. come on in. The door is always open (until 8pm. Then we're closed... and you're out of luck... and coffee... and melancholy rock... just sayin')

Friday, February 01, 2008

Well kids
So far the participation for "Giving Up Friday" has been lacking. I, Alice Berg, have been in a sweat suit all morning... I can't give up alone! That just doesn't seem fair does it? So put on your sweat pants, bed pants, track pants (anything that says "I've given up"), and hang out and have a coffee with me. Is that TOO MUCH to ask for?

Spinning a lot of old favourites today: Willie Nelson; Junior Murvin; Joe Strummer. Music that keeps you warm at night.

Coffee. Feature Yemen. - Chocolaty, but not too chocolaty. For the person who isn't sure if they like chocolate yet. It's like rubber but plastic. Leather but canvas, y'know. 9 holes when you ask for 4. That's what I'm saying.

And the love.