Wednesday, May 27, 2009






Wednesday, May 20, 2009

One of the following statements is not true:

I saw a Colonel Sanders look-alike walking down the street today pushing a baby in a stroller.

Steven Seagal came in today and ordered a iced-soy latte. Pansy.

The SWAT team is swarming Jilly's right now. Curiously, we see many Dark Horse customers come through here.

We will soon have raspberry sparkling lemonade. We will also host more high-school students.

Ice-cream and beer was a bad idea last night.

What is the Leslieville Cheese Shop doing on Queen West? (Okay, it's not much of a statement but come on!)

Robin's hair gets really hot in the sun.

"Dogs are forever in the push-up position." -Mitch Hedberg

The other night someone puked up a screamo band all over my living room.

Luigi is totally the gay brother.

Matt Davey is now a record producer.

It smells like summer.

Being cute doesn't work all the time.

Doug Hayter is now the cheese master.

Monday, May 18, 2009

"Buzz, your girlfriend, woof!"

Hay guyz.
It's the may 24 weekend!
That dusty, ol' battle-axe QUEEN VICTORIA would have wanted you to come to this establishment and drink some sclading hot bean oil (maybe, actually she was probably partial to tea).
come see me (matt).
taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa taaaaaaaaaaaa!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Buncha wackos in here today (us)!

come try our rad new feature bean: Brazil VARGHINA Sul De Minas.




Sunday, May 10, 2009

Yo buddies.
it is the day where we say how much we care about our moms. We often forget about how important they are, but you know, I find myself thinking about other neglected dudes too.

What about moths? Do they get mothers day?

and what about mammoths? mammothers day?

and what about the ice planet from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back; Hoth? Hothers Day?

In these modern times where no stone is left unturned in the name of civilization and science, why have we not realized all that is important to us, as well as our mothers? I think that today would be greatly enhanced if I were riding around on a moth covered mammoth on Hoth. Maybe I could wrap my tow-cable around an AT-AT or something, instead of getting lame flowers for my mom.

Friday, May 08, 2009

It's a scorcher today.
What better way to enjoy your disgustingly sticky day than with an equally sticky, gooey shot of espresso? The shots we're pulling today aren't even liquid! They are more like gak (in a good way):

Here is a shot of the Rwandan Black cat I pulled today. Mmmm.

So come on down to this dainty little place on queen street east. Also, feast your eyes upon our new art works done by Toronto's own Laura Mensinga. Bee-yoots!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

This made me smile today:

"Can I order something for you?"

"Yeah...uh a latte."

"Ok, just that? They aren't going to ask me a million more questions if I just say latte?"


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Hey metal, Neil Diamond will always be harder than you.

If you can decaffeinate coffee, can you re-caffeinate it as well?

The first person to discover cow's milk must have felt really awkward when he started telling people what he found out.

Mothers use the word 'funky' to describe things that you should like.

Honey is bee's puke. Think about it.

Why do have to be so mean all the time, House?

Syphilis can make your nose fall off.

Fake noses were very en vogue in the 1700's.