To illustrate the *ahem* uniqueness of the respective stores, I will list a quick and easy-to-read guide:
"a rush" QUEEN ST- A mass of customers that swell at peak times causing a delay in service, usually around the mornings.
MAIN ST- Anything more than three people.
"offensive music"
MAIN ST- Anything with swearing or anything derogatory
QUEEN ST- We haven't found anything yet.
"I'm going to get food"
MAIN ST- Going next door to James' apartment and looking real sad.
QUEEN ST- I'm going to Reliable.
"I'd like a regular coffee please"
MAIN ST- "Would you like a press or an americano?"
QUEEN ST- "NO"
"weirdos"
QUEEN ST- This one time I was offered a blowjob for 20 bucks
MAIN ST- This one time someone asked me how I was doing.
"overstaffed"
QUEEN ST- 4 people behind the counter and no room to fart
MAIN ST- 1 person at 5 pm on a weekday
"being edgy"
QUEEN ST- Calling a customer an asshole out loud and having them laugh at it
MAIN ST- Eye contact
Thanks for reading.
6 comments:
This was good. Typical day here at T.A.N.:
Customer: "Can I get a decaf coffee please?"
Me (not looking up from my laptop): "No, asshole."
Then laughs all around.
Are we really so bad up here on Main Street?
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Alright Queen Street.... I guess this means war...
"Barista"
Queen - Someone who makes coffee and is in an experimental noise band.
Main - Someone who makes coffee and is mind-blowingly good looking.
Ordering from Morning Glory
Queen - "Hey can we get 2 Tuesdays, one with rosti on the side the other with rosti in it, a PB no olives, onions tomato, aoili, greens, cheese or sundried tomatoes, a BLT no lettuce and mustard instead of ketchup with a sied of scrambled egg-shells on, extra ketchup, a side of everything for Alex..."
Main - "food? awesome!"
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