Thursday, March 06, 2008
So you can't sleep, you go to work with toilet paper tacked to the bottom of your shoe, and you're eating you're cereal in an ashtray... what is your life coming to?
Wipe the corners of your mouth (where the saliva and toothpaste have united), Take a brush through your hair (and your teeth for that matter), and find something to cover the mustard stain on your shirt... 'Cause today is going to be your day! Take the bull by the horns (youknowwhatimsayin') and get your act together.
Then, in a limp gesture toward Real Greatness, you wipe all the drool off your chin and say "Here I go... I'm going to Mercury!" And then everything gets better.
Since that was all subtle and literary-like, let me reword everything you just read in a language you might understand: Mercury takes the most slovenly, pathetic excuses for humans, and turns them into Rock Hard Dionysian Man-Men. It did it to me and it can do it you too!